Funeralienation- Part III- What Are Friends For?

 

(Part I- here  

Part II- here )

- Let´s hear some music, no? ( Said Simona ) 

 

- Oh, good idea. I didn´t know what was missing. (Retorted Valentina) Do you think he is going to be alright? 

- I couldn´t care less. I had a bad feeling about this journey from the beginning, but ... we just had this crazy situation because of this  funeral and stuff. He picked up a bad day to piss me off. I am still coming to terms with George´s death myself

- What were you? Also cousins, or what?

- He was my paternal grandfather´s only daughter-in-law´s brother.

. Mhm. 

- We were quite close, you know. Maybe the closest from all family members. I am still not convinced about the cause of his death ... I mean what does "Eaten by beasts of the forest" even mean? 

- Actually, it has been a lot on the news lately. The beasts of the forest seem to have gone bananas. More and more people are getting hurt or even eaten by them. Such as your paternal grandfather ....only daughter  ... George´s case. 

- I really appreciate you coming with me. I couldn´t have handled this by myself. 

- Oh, please. What are friends for? (Said Valentina with a smile.)

- Oh, crap! We have to cross the Enchanted Forest. We must leave the car here and walk. Shit!

- Do we have enough time?

- Yes if we hurry. Come on. Let´s go!

 

 

 

- I am not used to this quietness. It kinda creeps me out. (Whispered Valentina)

- Don´t worry. I used to come here all the time. It is quite a friendly place when you get to know it. 

- Maybe, but still ...

(A peculiar noise was coming from the bushes on the right, but in such silence all noises become peculiar.)

- Wow! I must admit that the sunlight hits wonderfully through the branches. (Said Valentina). Do you see?  .... Simona? (She turned around to her friend, but all she saw was Simona with a rock in her fist) 

After hitting Valentina with rock in her head several times, Simona checked Valentina´s pulse (or lack of it) in order to make sure that she was dead. 

"Nice and quick" Thought Simona to herself.

- I am sorry it had to be you, dear. So sorry. 

Said Simona while carrying the dead body along the forest. 

"What time is it? pfffff ... 7 more minutes. Come on! One last push. There´s the border"

At the border there were a bear and a fox. 

- Hello, Miss. Your name? (Said the bear)

- Simona Mandake. 

- Your id please. (Said the fox)

Simona handed over the id and the two animals checked it. 

- Human sacrifice?

- Yes, there it is.  

- Good to go. (Said the bear) . Good day.

- Thank you. Goodbye! (Said Simona with a sigh of relief and crossed the border free of any extra burdens)

"Time: 3 more minutes till the funeral and I can see it from here. I can finally relax". 

Calmly and steadily, she arrived at the funeral. Among others, she saw Mircea all torn up. 

- What happened to you? You look like shit. 

- Oh, you didn´t seem to care so much when you dumped me by the side of the road. I am lucky to even be here, you know. Where is Valentina anyway? 

- May we have a moment of silence, please? ( Said the tall elegant priest) And let´s pray together for the soul of George.  ........ May God put at rest the soul of George in place where there is no pain, nor suffering, nor sobbing ... In the name of the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit ... Amen!"

- Amen! (Said Mircea crying gently.)

- So, I guess this is it. What are your plans? Shall we go back together or what? 

- I guess so. Just don´t leave me alone by the road again. 

- Just don´t be annoying about the temperature anymore. 

- I can´t help myself. I am sensitive. 

- Whatever. I guess we are not in a hurry anymore. We´ll have to cross the Enchanted Forest by foot, I left my car on the other side. 

- Oh, no problem. After all I´ve been through today ... a short relaxing walk sounds like a really great idea.

- Perfect. Let´s go. ... 

- I must admit I was quite touched by the ceremony. The priest had an impressive voice. 

- Yeah. Tell me what happened after we separated. 

- Oh, you won´t believe it,  At first I thought of hitchhiking, but nobody would stop ... just the opposite. ...

As they were walking through the Enchanted Forest, Mircea told Simona all the story about the meeting with the Pegassus, the soul offering, the flight while Simona was just nodding her head saying "Mhm"

- ... But up there was so cold and windy and you know I am temperature sensitive, right? ( Said Mircea while turning to Simona and taking her by surprise with a rock in his fist)

- Screwing me up once is quite enough for today, don´t you think so, cous`?  ( Said Mircea while smashing her head). You think you are so smart, don´t you, bitch? That you are the only one who knows you need a human sacrifice to cross the border, huh?  We are family, love. I know a thing or two about the Enchanted Forest. You picked on the wrong motherfucker!

At the border there were a stag and a wolf. 

- Hello. (Said the stag)

- Hello.

- Name?

- Mircea Farkash. 

- Id?

- There you go. 

- Human sacrifice. 

- There you have it. 

- Good to go. Good day, sir!

- Thank you. Likewise.

Relieved,  Mircea crossed the border taking a deep breath and a close look to find Simona´s car. Luckily it was right in front of the forest. He smiled and walked calmly towards it. Opened the dor, steped in and turned on the engine. 

 

" Man, it was a long day. I don´t know what I need more a yoga flow or a whiskey. Maybe i should flip a coin: heads yoga, tails bar." He flipped: It was tails. 

" Perfect! A brothel it is."

 and off he went. 

 

 

                                                                                - The End -