luni, 30 iunie 2014

Me and Satan ( and Nick the Stalker )


Da Ring din Ding Ding Ding

- Alo.
- Hey, girl!
- Oh! Hey, Satan! What's up?
- Good, good, all good. How about a drink? I'm dying of heat.
- That would be great! I am after eight hours of traveling.
- Cool. Pick you up in an hour.
- See you in an hour, baby!

..............................................................................................................................................An hour later

Knock-Knock-Knock!

- Is that you, Satan?
- In person, darling.
- How are you, sweetie? I actually missed you ( Muah-Muah) !
- Yeah right! That's why you never call, because you miss me so ...
- Come on, don't be mean. You know how my life is. It doesn't kill you to initiate the thing.
- Yeah yeah, ok. Where shall we go?
- Come, let's just walk and we'll find a place on the way.
- Fine. So ... ( as we started walking ) what have you been doing.
- Good ... fine ... all good. The only thing is that ...
- ....
- Well ... Nick is stalking me again. I don't know how the hell he found me.
- Nick? Nick who?
- How many Nick stalkers do I have?  ONE!.... CAVE!

- Shit! But I thought ...
- Tell me about it?! It's been 10 years already. I was sure we were settled, but guess what, The man is back and he's EVERYWHERE! I can't eat, I can't sleep I can't do anything without him watching me. I'm so tired and scared. I don't know what to do.
- How long is been going on?
- Pfff ... 2-3 months ... maybe even more.
- Did you try to talk to him?
- Of course I did, but as soon as i get into conversations with him I feel like I'm falling into his trap, I go into this deep hole and the recovery is very difficult afterwards. I rather not. It's really terrible. The funniest thing that happened to me in the last months was a joke I dreamed about.
- Really? What?
- Where are the germs coming from?
- ?
- Germany.
- Hahahahaha, that's funny.
- Funny, right? I thought so too and I woke up to

- Man, go fuck yourself with a cactus!
- Listen, I'll tell you something, but don't look back, ok? He's behind us right now.
- I know ... I told you he's everywhere.
- Ok, come with me. I have something at home, the effect is just temporary, but it will give you time to catch your breath and take the break  you need.
- Oh, yes! I'll take anything. Let's go!

..........................................................................................................................................@Satan's home

- Welcome to my humble home!
- Thanks, I really appreciate it.
I heard someone going up the stairs.
- Shit, he's coming. Can you give me that stuff now?
- Yes, I just have to prepare it. It will take 5 minutes.

Knock-Knock-Knock!

- Shit! Do you think it's him?
- Open and you'll find out.
- .........
- Come on, don't be afraid. He's like a dog, he smells fear. Open the door.

I went up the door and opened it. I found myself standing in front of Nick Cave which was also a little surprised. He got himself together quickly and started " Despair and deception, Love's ugly little twiiins ... Came knocking on my door ..."
- Ada, the stuff is ready! ( Yelled Satan )
I slammed the door on Nick's face and came back to my friend and host.
- Give! Give!
- Here!



- Wow, man! This was awesome!
- Listen, Listen! I got one.
- ............
- A chlorophyl is a person who has sex with plants?

                                 
                                                                           - The End-