Ring! Ring! Ring!
- Hey, Ada, it's me.
- Oh, hey, Satan. What's up?
- Good, good, really good. Getting ready for the Godency elections.
- Really? Still didn't give that up? You're finished, man.
- I have a good feeling about this year's elections.
- Oh, shut up! I hear this every 5 years and you're still a loser down in hell. They finished you, admit it and move on.
- I can't allow him to keep on winning, do you understand? I just can't. Not after everything he's done to me.
- Nobody will believe you. Everybody hates you, they will never allow you to be God.
- Motherfucker, he used all his forces and influence against me ... Only because I was the only one who had chances to win those elections. And since then ... It's only him ... There are some elections, but only for image, and only in heaven, everybody knows who is going to win. It's such bullcrap.
- Yeah, I know, and is not like he is doing a very good job, but honestly, I don't think that anyone will ever take him down. He is immortal, he has all the angels and most of the christians on his side so ... I don't see how are you going to pull this through.
- I know ... Can you keep a secret?
- Who can I tell anything of this?
- I don't know, but I need you to remain silent until the final results of this elections.
- Alright, I promise.
- I went to God last night with two bottles of whiskey ( if you know what I mean) and ... Listen to this: " I'm sorry Satan, I really am, it was all politics, man. Everything started as a joke anyway, I didn't think they would actually believe all that stuff, but it turned out people were much more stupid than I thought. Now, no hard feelings man, I really love you. I do! Let's go fuck some bitches. My balls hurt! ". Did you hear? Can you believe that shit? And I have a full hour of this. Hahahhaha
- Ok, I see were you're going. That could work.
- I told you I have a good feeling about this year's elections.
- If you allow me a piece of advice ...
- Sure, what?
- I think you should also change your name. People still hate you no matter what.
- Good point. I'll think about it.
- Ok, I have to go now. It was nice talking to you. Goodluck!
- Are you going to vote for me?
- The vote is personal. Hahahha ... We'll see how the campaign goes. I gotta go. Byeeee!
A week from this conversation a whole scandal begun. The whole internet, tv and newspapers were debating the recording in which God admitted that he's a fraud, a liar and that he has sexual intercourses with prostitutes. Churches were burned, crosses were torn to pieces and thrown in the garbage.
A new face showed itself, a fresh candidate, a potential saviour:
" We will get over this together, my friends! We must see this not as a tragedy, but as a chance for a new beginning. It is time for democracy, it is time for fair elections for Godency. You were living under dictatorship and you didn't even know it, but now you are better, you are smarter and you know your rights. Together we can turn a tragedy into a great victory! Vote Santa for God! "
And he won, of course!
- The End -
Acest post este dedicat fostei mele diriginte din liceu, doamna Negut Denisa care m-a exmatriculat din liceu in clasa a 12-a pentru ca m-a crezut satanista si careia ii urez
un Paste Fericit ... IN IAD ... MUUUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!